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simplyfying and moving on…

Written on the 19th August, moving has put me a little behind…


Packing up the fairy studio tonight, and I am wondering… Am I giving up everything (i.e. am I crazy?) Or, am I the luckiest girl in the world? There could well be a thin line between following your bliss and plain old craziness!

Out of all the rooms in the house, this is the space I have been procrastinating the most. A fierce resistance to having to go through my special creative things, lovingly pack them and let go of that final layer of STUFF!

I have been focussed on decluttering and organising since last November and I’m sure many people could have done it quicker than me… but I really needed to take my time. As an emotionally based person I knew I would find the process of making decisions very tiring, so therefore decided to take my time. My house, my STUFF,  my time.

The old place...

So why on earth leave our beautiful home, a dream house, in fact, I would go as far as say this is the prettiest house I have ever seen let alone lived in!!!! So, maybe you now are close to wondering what some of our nearest and dearest feel…. a big question but a small word…. why? Well, it’s so simple; being there felt wrong in our hearts. On so many levels. A trap. A death pledge (aka; mortgage). Of being in the crazy cycle of working really hard to earn lots of cash to be able to pay the (huge) monthly bills and also of course; to buy more STUFF…. And the counter-balance; due to all this hard work and the giving up of time we didn’t actually want to give up, leading to being too tired to enjoy said house and lifestyle…. AND so here lies the dilemma.

I remember saying to my other half a few years ago that my job was destroying my health, my well-being and that I had this terrible feeling that I had sold my soul. I did not quite understand at the time what on earth that meant but I remember him saying from his complete practical perspective… “Well, leave then!”  … I found myself in a floundering panic! How could I leave? Didn’t my job and my income define me? As well as all the beautiful holidays and STUFF I could afford? And who would I be if I wasn’t teaching? Who would I be if I couldn’t afford to surround myself with the STUFF I love? How would this mortgage get paid? It put my head into a spin.

But the whole reality of where we are now has literally fallen into place at just the right time for both of us. And, we both know it’s right, and yes, we felt ‘the fear,’  but we feel very blessed and full of gratitude that we have this opportunity to completely unhook from a life that no longer serves us, or indeed helps us serve others. My brother said to me a few months ago that really it all comes down to a question of money or time? Ponder on that one for a moment…

We spend so much of our precious time working. Living by the clock. Setting the alarm, Sunday blues, tiredness because we cannot even dictate to ourselves how much sleep we get… giving so much of the best parts of ourselves to our work (often very valued… I am not disrespecting what we do…) but the sacrifice of this time and energy swap for money is that sometimes, or often, our own loved ones miss out… They get the very worst of us, the bits we have left; that grumpy person with no patience, no energy to listen and no time to be properly present. So, if we were really honest, and had enough rest so we had energy to actually think about this properly…. would we choose the money or would we choose the time?

I don’t have the answers yet – watch this space! Maybe we can discover a way to choose how we spend our time AND function within the maze of restrictions (that sometimes make no sense) and boundaries of where we find ourselves right now. A close relative said to my partner… ‘I have worked my whole life to do what you are doing.’ That felt really profound and made me a touch sad.

So why not just stop, get off the roundabout? Could this really be possible? I wait to see what unfolds next as my I grab my life with both my hands and direct it the way I choose to.  And always grateful for opportunities and this freedom offered to me. I won’t waste it and I won’t let it go. Thanks for reading…x

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  1. Kaotic Kittus says...

    What a beautiful post, thank you for sharing..I admire you for following your hearts (and beautiful ones they are too!) I feel utterly confident that the universe will take very good care of you and take you on some amazing adventures….inc WALES! You are a very beautiful, talented and genuine soul, I feel so privaliged (can’t spell 😉 ) to have you as my friend! LOVE xxxxxx

    • Wendy replied...

      thank you my beautiful lovely xxxx yes to wales and the company of YOU! xxxx