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How completing things is often really hard to do…

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I am committing myself these days to finishing things. Completing those loose ends I always seem to leave – and then they start to unravel again… I have areas of my life where quite simply, I am part way through and the time is now to complete the cycle. For me at the moment, this means staying focussed on my health and consciously eating the right foods as I have been really unwell. It also means giving up red wine too. Mostly this has been easy but now and again I feel I am really missing out of one of life’s little pleasures. But, I am feeling healthy and that is my focus right now.

I have been journalling everyday as usual but with more of a spot-light on what I need to do in order to feel radiant, myself and GOOD! And right now, I am back to basics of; food, rest, nature and looking within.

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This influence of completion is feeding down to my paintings too. I always find my artwork reflects what is going on in my life. I try to be as authentically myself there as everywhere else in my life. No fakery nonsense, simply not allowed! So, for the past few days I have been going back to paintings I started about six months ago. It has been really hard to get back into them. I am in a different place now and I don’t mean geographically.

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My drawing skills improve all the time too so when I look at older work I sometimes cringe at the drawing that I now see. I have redrawn quite a few girls and reworked the paintings. It was scary at first as I was attached to parts of the paintings which I did like. But, I had to be brave, painting parts out and re-drawing over and over till I was happy. It is and has been a huge learning curve. I am also finding the process is taking longer than starting and finishing a new painting so it helps me practise patience. I still have two paintings left to finalise so will post pictures up when I am done.

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I found this article today all about how making art is good for you. It touches on three things but I think the benefits go a lot deeper than that. Whether making music, dance, writing, cooking, or whatever it is your creative muse likes to do, I believe, it has a massive health and happiness impact. For me I get in tune with parts of myself that I can’t reach or describe in any other way. My inner soul gets a voice. I find it a deeply meditative experience and have written about this before; how sometimes when I am creating, I can barely ‘see’ with my eyes. How can I describe this? My ‘seeing’ gets more blurry and I just act completely intuitively with what I put down on the paper. It’s not always like this though. Sometimes it’s also a very frustrating process of; making mistakes, fixing them, making it worse, making bad art and throwing it out and starting again! But, I LOVE it. And, my inner soul LOVES it. I don’t feel like myself unless I am allowed to be creative. I think that’s why I found being a primary teacher so soul destroying.

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At first I was able to be creative in the classroom. Making lavish displays and resources, planning exciting lessons using all the arts to teach the ‘boring’ stuff. But as time went on it got harder and harder to find the energy with all other responsibilities: assessments, tasks, observations and inspections they PILE on top of you. Sad but for me, true. I introduced the Swedish peer massage programme into my school, started practising yoga with the children, taught meditation as part of anger management and even achieved our Green Flag in the Eco school programme. I loved all that side of my work. Here’s a photo from my old days! Teaching writing with a cookery demonstration… Fun days…

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But my point still comes back to my need for creativity. To express this part of me is a vital key to being who I am and my well-being. And now, I can’t wait for another creative project on a different level… nesting in our van! Sad but true; progress has been slowed down due to weather. First it rained here for days with floods especially in Southern Spain and now it’s so hot, about 30 degrees today that we have to seek shade during the afternoons… But this is a whole other blog post that I WILL get to I promise!

As always, thanks for reading and also for all the comments and likes on my facebook page – much appreciated.X

 



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  1. Mellow says...

    Xx Loves xx


    • Wendy replied...

      loves back sweet one xxx