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Five awesome confessions I am celebrating today!

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We all know that in life we have difficult experiences and joyful ones. Often, it seems, we can slip into talking about the difficult stuff and people can relate easily and we all commiserate together…. BUT, what if it felt as natural to CELEBRATE the good stuff??!! I have few people in my life that I can do this with where it doesn’t feel like ‘showing off’ or ego stuff. Just experiencing pure happiness and simply wanting to share it.

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It’s not that I think our ego part isn’t necessary. I do. And where I used to sit it in the corner after it had been naughty, I now listen privately to it and sit it on my knee with a little (or big) hug. It is accepted and acknowledged but I don’t want it ‘out there’, acting out and creating difficulties for others or myself.

I have decided, since writing my last blog post that I really need to learn to ‘celebrate OUT THERE!’ I have spoken often about gratitude practises; the different ones I have tried and my favourite one. But, still, I am not so good at shining my colours OUT THERE. Even though I feel how shiny I am in here (pointing at my heart).

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I wonder quite often why this is so difficult, not just for me but also other people I connect with. I have worked out some of my answers. I have worked out that I feel different day to day, hour to hour, even, moment to moment, sometimes.

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Sometimes I want to show my colours, spread out my butterfly wings and other times I just want to hide-away. I have to be careful though; I can be the queen of hibernation. And then, there are those crazy, confusing ‘in-between-times,’ where you’re not quite sure where the hell you are on the ‘BEING OUT THERE’ scale. I am OK with myself on all these days now. I wrote the following a week ago…

Today I am out there. Shining my light. Just at myself. I am the focus of this very intentional day. And, I want to celebrate! My following shameless confessions are in no particular order.

First I wish to celebrate where I am. It is October. I am still wearing my beach-wear. I am sitting on a beautiful beach. One we love so much we keep returning to. And yet it’s different everytime. Today the tide is right out, the waves are a bit crazy, there is no wind and not a cloud in the sky. This is very special for me as autumn used to mean; the onset of colder weather, the end of summer and back to work; although this feels like another lifetime ago now. Don’t be mistaken, I love the English autumn. The turning of the seasons, the lighting of fires and the changing colours in nature. But here, now, it is just different that’s all. And I celebrate being nourished outside in the sun today.

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Next I celebrate who I AM. I AM a brave girl. I AM from the HEART and I am living and telling my authentic TRUTH. If you have not spoken to me in a while you may not recognise me completely. I have grown and I have changed. I have evolved and I continue to do so. Sometimes I grow in a spiral which takes me in backwards directions but I am changing all the same; as I believe we all are. Sometimes this is hard to recognise and acknowledge in others, particularly if they are close to us. Old labels, sticky stories and shame may try to remain. But it is there all-the-same; for us to choose to notice or turn away from.

Third, I am grateful for my man and my daughter. Both these loves I have known for more than half my life. Both are my greatest inspirations and teachers. These two love stories are far too long to tell in this particular blog post so they will have to wait until another day… Suffice to say here though that I have gratitude (light) in these two places even on those (dark) days when I can find no other sources. “May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.” – J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring.

Fourth is my FREEDOM. To travel, to do my own work, to choose how I spend my precious time. The irony is; I am physically searching for a place to call HOME so I can stop roaming! I am searching for my path and the things I need to do to fulfil the soul work I came here to do. This is my HOME, (I think) though I am still puzzled and working out many things…

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Finally, (for now), I am celebrating my focus (and hard-work) on self-discovery and improvement. Learning to find my centre and keep my balance. To focus on my SOUL searching and travel MY unique path. I am proud of how far I have come even though I know I have a long way yet to go. It’s all OK. It’s all happening perfectly – the way it is meant to. I have learnt to TRUST. I have learned to believe in the magic and the flow.

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So here I am, celebrating shamelessly! This is my blog after all, so I am just going to do it! And, I am not sorry! – As one of my sisters would say! X



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