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Finishing work and the perfection word…

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I am having a real problem finishing anything! I have no trouble at all starting working; drawing, sketching, planning… but when it comes to taking it further I get scared… It’s like I will be covering up the innocent freshness that a new painting always has, and that somehow, it will lose something by process. I know from past experience that yes, stuff can go wrong and actually (and obviously) this is a good thing because you learn and move forwards but somehow, at the moment at least, I can’t seem to let go.

I have not forced, but have ‘encouraged’ myself to go back to some unfinished pieces this past few weeks. And believe me, there are many to choose from! Some are small and insignificant¬† and some are canvases I started last spring… I am trying hard to make brave decisions and be assertive with my work. I have no ‘apple z’ when I am painting! Already I am happier and feel I am making progress in leaps and bounds. I am now allowing and sometimes even creating ‘mistakes’ so I have to face resolving them. I don’t like the word mistake actually as I like to think of it more as creating situations with which to learn from. That goes for life as well for me as it’s so easy to feel bad when you mess up. I read somewhere recently that when you fail at something instead of asking; ‘why did I do that?’ you should instead ask; ‘what did I learn from that?’

So, I suppose what I am saying is that I am glad I am making art that is going wrong! I am learning the lesson that this whole thing is not about creating something that I feel to be PERFECT. But just about ME creating something! Not to sell or for others to admire… Just quite simply for me…



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