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Day 19… Here’s me, trying to write, trying to draw and not doing it right…

Photo on 01-03-2015 at 16.56

Well, this is me, right now, writing this, barefaced and unbrushed hair! Seeing as I am revealing myself on here I thought I might as well take an ‘in the moment’ picture. I have had some really lovely messages about these posts. About how honest and real this is. This means a lot to me because this is exactly my intention. To hear that my heart is coming through is amazing. But then, I sit down to write today and don’t know where to begin. I feel a little under pressure too as I want to post this early as we are going out. So, I have less time to gather my thoughts today…

“We are writing for our mothers mothers & their mothers. We are writing for our daughters & the daughters of our daughters. We are writing for our ancestors & generations to come. Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just… start. ” — Ijeoma Umebinyuo

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I found that quote today, or rather it found me. Perfect. So, today I start with doubt. Where did that come from? I started to feel unsettled and restless this afternoon so decided that practising some drawing would help. But it didn’t and I did more rubbing out then getting pencil marks down. So much so that I am going to have to sweep it all up. Here is another day where I put in the time but the magic just doesn’t happen. Time to step away from the drawing and leave it for another day. Make some rooibos tea and breathe.

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There is our van in the sunshine. Just a little peak. Not sure I am ready to share it yet… It’s my private sanctuary. I would love to share it but I just don’t think I’m quite ready! We sat and did some planning today. We have so much to decide about the van and how it’s going to be. The challenge at the moment is how to fit the massive solar panel to the roof to run our fridge. So this we pondered, sitting in the sunshine and it’s warm enough to be in a bikini. Sorry if you’re craving some sunbathing right now but I do HAVE to be honest remember!

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I have lots of planning notebooks. If I get everything down on paper my brain doesn’t feel quite so busy with it all. I can come back to it knowing it’s there but not have to carry it around with me every second. I could write a whole blog post about my different notebooks, journals, art books ect… I have loads with me. Some gifts, some blank new ones I brought with me as I have a favourite type and some of my old favourites, my old friends now. Usually around the beginning of a new month I like to create a vision board purely for that month. I sat down to do it today but you can see how blank my pages are in one of the photos above. I’ll try again tomorrow. No inspiration today. Just have to accept it and do my best.

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Thanks for coming over again to spend some time… best go now to freshen up and brush my bloody hair before we go out! Hope you are enjoying your Sunday, much loves… X



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