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Day 16… How writing everyday makes me feel vulnerable and a few pictures from our walk…

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This is my little cosy nest today for a good rest and a bit of writing. I didn’t have a great night, I won’t lie, but I am much better today. A big thank you for all the lovely comments and messages I got since yesterday’s post. When I got up this morning and read them all I felt very overwhelmed by the love coming in. Thanks and much loves back. xxx

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Writing a post everyday means I am revealing details that I have not shared on here before. It’s not the same as my usual ‘now and again’ posts. It’s unrehearsed and unplanned. I had absolutely no idea what this would feel like for me.

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And, it makes me feel vulnerable. Am I revealing too much of myself, am I worthy enough to write on a public platform, is anyone going to read or be interested? Do I matter? Am I enough….? I saw a talk by Brene Brown a while ago but it is hugely relevant again for me during this writing process. Some of her words are profoundly beautiful. And I love the above quote by Zooey Deschanel. I read the words and watched the talk again. I needed this reminder today. I have always been told in life that I am too sensitive, needing to grow a thicker skin, not take it so much to heart. I was always in that scared place where I felt I wasn’t and nor would I ever be enough. I don’t feel that anymore. I have nothing to prove, I don’t want to win, I don’t think I am the best artist or writer, I just think that all our stories matter. And, telling them in whichever way we choose, matters. If we share our REAL stories with our REAL selves then that’s when the magic happens. That’s the connection. For me I am connecting with myself here as much as to you. I am starting to love my blog more and more. It’s still a little scarey, but it’s worth it!

 

“Better to write for yourself and have no public,
than to write for the public and have no self.”  Cyril Connolly

 

I revealed my tenderness in my last ever teaching interview a few years ago. I got asked what I would do to raise standards in my classroom. The RIGHT answer, the one they wanted to hear was; “after reading the OFSTED report, I would target the more able girls in numeracy… bla, bla… But I didn’t say that. I talked about well-being. How if pupils’ needs were met and they felt safe, valued and worthy they would automatically learn more. They would achieve their very best. I didn’t get the job! When said headteacher rang to tell me I asked for feedback on the interview, (even though I knew what she was going to say) and yes, it was the well-being answer! But I was not sorry! I was really proud of myself, loving the fact that I had the courage to stand up for my beliefs, even ‘out there!’ Not always an easy thing to do… Writing this blog is helping me practise. X

It’s been a beautiful day here at around 23 degrees. I think its due to get even hotter next week although the temperatures vary quite a bit at this time of year. James and I went for a (gentle) walk in nature just by where we are living. I of course took my new little camera to take a few pictures for the blog today.

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A tree with a face?

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The amazing smelling orange groves…

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Thanks for popping by. Tomorrow we are heading into Valencia Town so my post may be up a bit later than usual. X



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  1. Judy says...

    Beautiful! You probably wonder who I am? I have never met you but my son has and bought me many of your cards of fairies that you sold in Leicester some time ago. I admire your art work and wanted to stay connected with you. Thanks for the blogs.
    Be well,
    Judy


    • Wendy replied...

      Ah, thanks Judy. I appreciate your connection, it doesn’t matter that we haven’t met. You are welcome here! xxx